i will close
my eyes
see all
the blinding
colors
in my head
melt all
the reds
of my fears
fade all
the greens
of my hunger
and picture
sydney
on a fresh
new day

the colors
dissolve
to white
as i calm
as a child
in dreamless
slumber
hoping that
no dread
nor thirst
could ever
find me

*may 25, 2004, 6:15 pm

if only the
throbbing
of my heart
translates into
morse code

i will decipher
every beat
convert them
into a word file
print them on
cheap black paper

sign it with
my blood
immerse it with
my tears and
fold the paper
many times that
it forms a ticker
with a flap

incise your sternum
between your lungs
cut your heart
and bury the
ticker deep

so that its
rhythmic contractions
curb the length
of your anger
control the flow
of your tears
pump your fears
away and alter
your heartstrings
to fit mine

then our hearts
will beat at
the same rhythm
contract and expand
at the same passion

not loving you more
than you love me
thinking of you
when you think of me
know that my heart
breaks when yours does

same aches
same hopes
same forever…

*may 20, 2004

to slither into an
overstuffed couch
or snug in bed
watching a movie or
lie on a cozy nook
near the fire
or read fiction
sipping coffee

all because it’s

RAINING

and i want to
be with YOU

because the couch
can’t hug me
the movie can’t
sweep me off my feet
the nook’s not
warm enough
and the book
can’t kiss me

*may 17, 2004, 03:26 pm